Decisions, Decisions…

November 19, 2017

The title makes it sound more important than it is lol, so don’t get too excited… to run or not to run is more like it…

I’ve been on the fence about a marathon that I really, really wanted to do for the past two years now.  Last year I did a different fall marathon, so doing another in December wasn’t really an option.  This year I passed up a couple other October marathons I was considering, kind of holding out for the #RehobothMarathon in December.  Last year it was just an ‘oh that would be a nice marathon’ thought, but it had some trails involved and I wasn’t sure what the trails were like and I prefer the road, so I didn’t give it a whole lot of thought.  Then we made our annual beach trip this past summer and while running on vacation, I discovered this state park that we surprisingly had never visited before; I decided to venture back on my next run so that I could explore a little further.  I found #Gordon’sPondTrail and finished a beautiful 10 mile run that morning—it was gorgeous!  A new favorite spot of mine at the beach, for sure! I couldn’t wait to bring my family back here to show them as well!

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So, remembering that the Rehoboth Marathon consisted of some trails, I looked it up again and realized that this was one of the trails that made up the marathon.  I was instantly excited and starting considering the possibilities of running this race this December.   It was a pricey marathon compared to the others I’ve ran in the past, and it doesn’t help that I don’t like to commit much more than 8 weeks ahead of race day.  I kept it on the radar however, and as I said before, passed up other marathons with this one in mind.  I had the training planned out; even if it felt somewhat foolish training for a marathon I wasn’t sure I was even going to participate in, however I wanted to be ready.

For the past 2-4 weeks I’ve been back and forth between reasons I should and should not do this marathon. The biggest thing holding me back was the price of the marathon itself as well as the cost of the hotel, trip, etc.  I felt it was selfish of me to spend that much money on ME right before Christmas; I was having a very hard time justifying it.  Then when I talked to some others about it (mostly running friends), they all have the ‘You Only Live Once’ motto – Go for it! You’ll regret not doing it!  So I pressed on with my training. Meanwhile people think I’m crazy for running 16, 18, and even 20 mile training runs not knowing if I was even going to do the race!  I was beginning to wonder right along with them…

Anyway, I’ve had this list of pros and cons to running this marathon and knowing there are only 68 spots left open (and fewer hotels available everyday), I knew I had to make a decision.  With a birthday coming up, part of me was like, ‘YES, I’m signing up as a Happy Birthday to me! This is how I want to celebrate!’ The other part of me was still feeling selfish about dragging my kids that far in a car to watch mommy run and my husband away from a day of deer season, and then again the cost of it all right before Christmas.  I belong to the Facebook marathon group page that gives information about the race and facilitates runner conversations about all the excitement leading up to the race; this I think was a mistake.  Between the post of the picture of the ‘10th anniversary medals’ and the beautiful picture from Gordon’s Pond Trail, I wanted to run in this race SO bad!   I told my husband on Saturday, the day we were supposed to go Christmas shopping and out for my birthday but were home instead with my poor sick kiddos (stomach bug strikes again), that if my final 20 mile training run went well tomorrow I was signing up for the race!  He, as always, was supportive of whatever my decision would be.

Sunday morning, I set out to run my 20 and to pray about whether or not I should do this marathon.  The weather was downright miserable; I’ve ran in rainier and colder weather but add the wind on top of it and miserable is the only word I could think to describe it. The wind in my face for the first half really took a lot of out of me, so even after turning around and having the wind mostly to my back on the return, it still wasn’t much fun.  My mind was flooded with all the reasons I shouldn’t run the race and although I LOVE to run, my desire to run this marathon – that I very well could be paying big bucks to run in similar weather next to the shore – had dwindled by time I reached home.  I’m thankful I completed the training, including the 20 miler, but decided I would sit this one out… Maybe next year!

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