2019 coming to a close…

December 29, 2019

I am not sad to say goodbye to 2019.

I know I should focus on the positive things from 2019; I am always so encouraged by people who constantly, even in the worst circumstances are still seeing the the good in the situation.  (Note to self- work on this in 2020.) I normally tend to remember things in a ‘rosey’ way…choosing to remember things fondly, forgetting any of the negative things that may have happened, etc. But when I look back at 2019 my vision is totally clouded by this overwhelming feeling of stress. Yes, in my mind, all I can think of when I glance back over 2019 is this overwhelming feeling of stress that I feel was there 85% of the time. Believe me, I know things could be worse and I feel guilty feeling so stressed and ‘whining’ when I know so many people are dealing with much worse struggles. But I guess it has helped me to fully realize that we all have struggles big and small and we all deal with them differently…

In my head I know the truth I’ve read and learned from the Bible and my faith. I believe all things happen for a reason and there’s a season for everything. My hope is in Jesus and that is what gets me through. I’m thankful for that. I’m not sure how people who do not have faith in Jesus manage in tough times; it would be even more overwhelming.

It’s funny as I think back to when I was pregnant with Henry, the theme of so many devotionals and Bible verses during that time was ‘prepare for an upcoming season of change.…’ Oy. Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate change. Things have definitely been different since baby #3 arrived. I wouldn’t trade him for the world, of course, but we can’t deny, it’s different. In addition to the usual ‘new baby different,’ there’s been some added stress of minor (compared to so many other possible worse situations) health issues for our little guy… ER visits, out of town specialist appointments, special diets, speech/OT appointments, and even a helicopter ride (hence the added gray hairs), not to mention a potential surgery looming in the future. I felt this baby and past year has aged me sooo much lol. I guess stress will do that to you (and help you lose your baby weight, only plus side lol).

Anyway, the point of this blog is not to whine to everyone…I hate that…I actually even hate talking about Henry’s health issues and when most people ask, unless they are close to me or known prayer warriors, I’ll probably just say ‘oh we’re pretty good/he’s doing pretty well’… (We’re probably all guilty of that at times..)  I guess my point is we all have struggles and should all greet people with the perspective that we don’t know what each is going through. Maybe someone in the checkout line seemed like a jerk, but maybe they’re just having a tough time. Maybe it would be nice to say a quick little prayer for those people who we cross paths with.

So, I’m sorry to anyone that crossed my path..and mostly to my household family for being difficult to love/live with at times. For times I seemed grumpy or distant, or didn’t check in enough or stop to visit, for having to say ‘no’ at times..etc. I felt down right miserable sometimes. Feeling stressed and/or overwhelmed 90% of every day isn’t a fun feeling.

But here’s to a New Year! A fresh start! I’ve always been one for New Year’s resolutions- from giving up pop and cookies when I was 12, to running 1200 miles in a year, to practicing being intentional- I honestly try to keep them, unlike the other reported 80% who fade off by February. I’m going to try something new, in addition to making some resolutions, I’m going to have a ‘verse of the year.’ I came across a verse in my devotional this morning that spoke to me and felt it should be a focus for me for 2020.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I’m going to write a few copies of it and place it several places I’ll see it regularly throughout my day. I would like to challenge you to do the same. Make a resolution for 2020, something you want to improve on, something attainable. Then also pray and ask God to lead you to a verse to be your focus for the upcoming year. Lastly, consider praying for those who cross your path that might be having their own struggles (aren’t we all in some way or another?).

Here’s to a New Year ahead! A year of prayer, rejoicing (in all circumstances), and sharing more love and feeling more grace. I haven’t decided completely on my running goal for the year…I’d like to ‘run the year,’ but I know I don’t have time for that big of a commitment right now. I’m going to shoot for something more than the 1200 miles I’ve done in the past and also a new goal of a 4 hour marathon. I’d also like to get back to sharing recipes more often…I’d like to resolve to blog once a week but I know what my ‘free time’ looks like and I only make practical/attainable resolutions. 😜 Don’t set yourself up for failure.

Thanks for caring, because I’m sure you must if you made it through all that! ☝️😉😁♥️

Happy New Year!

Picture from my morning run. 11 miles, burning the Christmas calories! We’ve had 5 Christmas get togethers over the past week! 😳🎄😜😍♥️

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